No more fries, please.

To finish off my PBA theme, I tried Kara with some shading and no references.

Meanwhile, it's been a week since Brian and I decided to get crazy, and so far we've pretty much done everything to the letter of our plans. Part of our new lifestyle is that when there is an opportunity to go out, we'll go out and get whatever we want, but we have to split it. So, we got a gift card to Red Robin (thanks mom!) and split a plate of Sliders. At the beginning of the meal, both Brian and I really didn't think we'd be satiated, but by the end I was actually painfully full! I'm really shocked at that. But overjoyed. It really helps your perspective on life when you know that you're really doing things completely the way you want to in one aspect. It makes me feel like we'll be ok after all.

Zen wa ii desu!

Well, today was our fourth day of zen. The two things we're trying to focus on is discipline and tolerance. We've gone out jogging 3/4 of the days, which is more than we think we probably should since we're so out of shape, so we'll tone it down to every other day and work up from there. Also, we put away all our dishes and only use one of each type of dish/utensil. We're also eating only rice, fruit, veggies, nuts, chicken, turkey, and some delicious miso soup. However, since we have a lot of left over food from before our zen life, we're eating that up at dinner, while spending the rest of the day on our new diet.

Finally, the hardest one of all is simply being tolerant of things that bug us. Whenever I feel annoyed, I try to take in a deep breath and just let it go. However, since we're in the financial crapper right now, that part's kind of hard. We're both applying to one place a day, looking for full time work anywhere, but, well, look at the economy. This is probably going to put my aspirations of illustrating on hold for now too. *sigh* But I also have to learn patience! I guess in a way, it's really best. Trying to make a living off of freelance was always impossible at this point in my life. I figured as much, and was just waiting for my easy ticket to run out eventually. And it has. And I think it's all for the best.

Zen Flow : Day 0

It's Jelli from old timey PBA!

So Brian and I are like OMG time to get hardcore. And I think I might like to make this journal focus on how that goes. We've more or less been trying to kind of ease into a "good life" and as those kind of things usually go, it's not working very well. We always give in to temptations. Convince ourselves that it's ok, and that we'll do better the next day/week/year/life.

So we're saying goodbye to a lot of unnecessary things. The most of which will be food that we like. We're doing it Zen style and are planning to eat nothing but veggies, fruit and rice for the most part. We've also shut away all our kitchenware and are going to only use one bowl, plate, cup, etc. On top of that, we have a list of things we have to do, and are positively not allowed to do.

It all starts tomorrow, which is when we're also going out to look for our new jobs. I feel like the ultimate goal with this whole thing, or at least one of the ultimate goals, is to come to terms with the idea that we may end up working somewhere we more or less don't want to be for our lives, and coming to accept that. Not in the way of "Oh well, this is good enough." We'll always try to do what we want to do in life, him with his music and me with my art, but I feel like we'll never be content with ANYTHING if we can't learn to be content with the things we'd rather not deal with. Because life is filled with those things.

So this is me trying to go with the flow. Let's see how it turns out.

Taking Advantage

All I want to do is rant. But what good does ranting do in the end? Maybe I should take a hint from this stream in the picture and just go with the flow. In any case, my life's about to get a lot harder, and I feel like if I don't learn to just deal with the blows I'm dealt, I'll surely go mad. @.@

Kitties!

I want a cat so bad. Going over to Brian's parents is fun, but sad 'cause they have kitties and it just reminds Brian and me about how much we love them! ;_; These aren't his parents' kitties. They're some characters Brian and I thought up, in our kitty-deprived state, no doubt. I thought I'd give drawing cats a try since I usually focus on people, and was surprised at how quickly I picked up on the anatomy. There's still some things that need work, but for the most part, I was pretty happy that I could draw a cat that looked like a cat.

Gloom Gloom Gloom.

I am gloomy.

Clop Clop

Thought I'd try landscape for a change. I think I like doing it on the computer best.

I've just recently realized that I really love the sound of footsteps. Is this weird? I hadn't thought much of it, but I did know I loved the sound of footsteps on gravel. When I'm walking on it, I'll even twist as I walk to make it extra gravelly. I also love the sound of footsteps in the snow. And also on old creaky wooden floors. I think these are common things to like, but as I was playing WoW, where the footsteps of every type of ground, be it stone, grass, dirt, etc. is amped up to the max, I realized that I really like them all!

My earliest memory of footsteps actually is that of my mom's. I used to wait at the Girl's and Boy's Club for her to pick me up, sitting on the ground and looking down at homework, drawing stuffs, a book, whatever. I remember my mom's footsteps because even though I was looking down at something, I wouldn't have to look up to recognize the sound of her walk.

Maybe this somehow correlates to my love of footsteps? Because the sound of footsteps for years and years signified getting to go home. This could be... or maybe it's just one of those pleasing sounds that everyone likes, but never really bothers talking about, because who would really start out a conversation with, "Gee, I sure do love the sound of footsteps, don't you?"

Liar Liar

I think that the temp agencies are lying. I've been calling in for months and months, looking for any part time office work, and not only do they say they don't have any, but sometimes they don't even appear to look. "Hi, My name is Tara, I'm looking for a jo..." "WE DON'T HAVE ANY!!" (I'm not even joking).

However, last week I called just after looking at my bank statement, which was $3. I was feeling pretty low when I called them, and it was obvious in my voice, and not only did I get compassion at Express (unheard of, she called me "hon"), I got a call back from Kelly with TWO JOB OFFERS. Unfortunately, the first one had a demand I couldn't meet. The second one sounded pretty darn good, and so she sent in my resume. But... I think probably because I've only been a "receptionist" for six months, and that was... six months ago, it probably didn't sparkle and shine against the other hundred. So, I didn't get called in. *sigh* Even so, I called Kelly this week to ask them if they knew why I didn't get called in, sounding far more chipper than I did the week before, and it was back to, "We don't have any jobs, call back next week, BYE!"

So... no jobs when I'm being pleasant, but two jobs when I'm sounding on the verge of tears....... I guess I know how my future phone calls are now going to be.