Monday, October 19, 2009

I'm Back!

I've been without internets for much too long! A... a week? It was terrifying. But now, not only do I have internets, my own apartment, complete with my own "office," but I also have my own kitty! Ok, well, I suppose the apartment and kitty aren't entirely mine owns, but rather ours ownses, but as everyone knows, after a while couples more or less blend into one entity, so consider it Briara's own.

The kitty's name is Oregano. He's the sweetest kitty ever. And I'm not entirely just being the biased owner, because Cait was NOT the sweetest kitty ever, and I'll admit to it freely, even while loving her totally and completely (and fearing her on an equally as powerful level). Oregano, however, is like a polite little Brittish boy. He plays politely, cuddles politely, meows politely. It's entirely too adorable.

So, I'll hopefully start getting back into my old sketchy posts eventually. We've still got some things to move, but I finally feel like things are settling down into something that resembles a life.

Oh! Also, I saw Paranormal Activity yesternight! Scary!!!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

The New Job

So, finally, two weeks after the fact, it's time for a "job" post. For anyone that's interested in what I'm doing... well I have some bad news for you. It's not really easy to explain. In fact, I'm not even sure myself what I am, or will be doing. However, I can explain at the very least that it has to do with Flash and education. More or less, I assist in the making of Flash-animated videos that help people learn. It's a small company with only five other people in the office, and one telecommuter. I have my own desk, which I recently put tootsie rolls out on, yum!

More or less, it's a hella-perfect job. Everyone there is crazy nice, I'm doing something I like and am supportive of, and may potentially get to work even more closely on artistic things, including animation and some script writing. For now though, it's mostly learning about how things work, and seeing where I can fit. I'd say the one less than perfect thing are the hours. I was concerned about getting a full time job, and this one is full time, and then some. I get in at 8 each day, and get home usually somewhere between 6-6:30. Sometimes even 7:00. That leaves me even less time for my own projects. But ultimately, I feel like this might even be best. It really makes me have to give up my craziness about updating my personal projects in a timely manner, or pleasing people who want more than I can offer, and want it for free. For ten years I've been a slave to this mentality, and with a part-time job, aside from me continuing to be sickeningly poor, I'd probably continue with it.

So, that's the scoop. I strung an ethernet chord all throughout the house to get my internets back (thanks to the gratiousness of Brian's parent's), and you can expect more sketching and blogging from me in the near future.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

My Life is on Hold

No sketch, because I can't sketch. Or rather, I can sketch, but there is nowhere for my scanner to sit now, and even if I could scan, I can't upload because my computer isn't online. This is a perfect example of something that is on hold. In fact, just about everything I do in my spare time is somehow frozen in time in one way or another, and I guess the only thing I can do is wait it out.

No doubt, this is ultimately good for me. I think that I spend too much time "working" anyway, but it is definitely hard to simply sit around doing nothing. Even if I promised myself that I should do more of nothing now that I've started working 48+ hours a week, but somehow it's different to decide to do nothing as opposed to being forced to.

Brian and I had hoped to go camping this weekend, before the weather starts getting too cold, but apparently the place that was close by is closed now, and my car is too feeble and old to make it to the mountainous places that are still open, so we're now facing a weekend of... what? Of waiting. Waiting till we have a place to call home again. -.-

Thursday, August 27, 2009

About Second Life


Just about everyone, when they hear about Second Life, asks what the heck it is. I thought I might share my thoughts on the matter.

As many will tell you, it's not a "game" but rather, I think, a social experiment. What if everyone could be whatever they wanted and do whatever they wanted? What if we had a utopian society with the technology of the Matrix, only everyone knew that they could fly and summon up a rack of guns out of thin air? Second Life is the answer.

At first, one enters Second Life with the realization that they can do and be what they want, so they run around collecting all the free clothes, cars, weapons and other assorted doohickies that they can. Second, you realize that the way cool stuff costs money, so you have to think of a way to get money.

There are several ways to get money. First, there are chairs that you can sit in, and for a given amount of time that you sit in them, (usually 15 or 20 minutes) you get a penny. YAY! There are also games you can play with others, like quiz games where the winner will receive some sort of jackpot. Another way is to get a "job" in which you DJ clubs, bartend, dance in clubs, etc. Usually this is a pay increase to maybe 3-5 cents per 15 minutes. If you're really lucky, you can make a quarter an hour! Next is to provide services or goods. And you can do anything from selling some little trinket you made to selling your body in the SL red light districts.

Now the first two methods of money collecting is the bane of Second Life, in my opinion. When they say "MILLIONS of people play!!!" it's a flat out lie. The majority of Second Life is filled with people sitting in chairs for hours so they can collect a couple pennies. People will often put these money chairs near their shops so that they get a boost in popularity, and as it is with Google, the more people that come to your land, the higher up you'll be on the search engine. So, when you search for things, be it anything, 8/10 times you're going to end up somewhere with about 10 people sitting around blankly (their players somewhere else in RL) with casinos or stores surrounding them, enticing you to buy. 1/10 times you'll get a dance club that has quiz games or jackpot lotto things to get people into their club (usually surrounded in stores), but the majority of people "dancing" are only there to win money or are just using the music like a radio, so they're mostly not interested in chatting or hanging out. The other 1/10 times, you'll end up again somewhere where there are things to buy, and absolutely no one around for miles.

Now, once you get past the money issue, it's time to reinvent yourself, either by buying it or creating it. What I think is a somewhat sad fact about this is that it appears that easily over half of the people on Second Life want to be extremely tall, busty, anorexic hookers. If you go into Second Life, it won't be long before some Barbie doll walks up to you with barely any clothes on and way too much makeup. I'd say that one of the most successful merchants of goods in Second Life is this woman who specializes in women's hair (if you're wondering about what makes the most money in SL, I would say the selling of land (everyone wants a chance to make their own stores, of course)). While lusty women make up about 90% of the SL population, you do get a pretty neat assortment of other things. Furries are very popular, as are machina. I've also seen dragons, various monsters, robots ala the 1930s, lots of Goth and Lolies, even inanimate objects like chairs and phone booths that hop around.

When it comes to what people create, there's an interesting array as well. While there are TONS of stores, there's also everything else under the sun you could think of. Clock towers, ships, space domes, castles, any sort of architecture you can imagine from skyscrapers to villages made out of giant mushrooms. If you spend enough time looking around in SL, you will see some things people have made that are absolutely astonishing and breathtaking.

Finally, there's the question of how one spends their time once they've got themselves dressed up and ready to go. There are plenty of dance clubs, where I've gone to just listen to the music when I'm bored of my own. There are also games that people have coded, all the way from SL Majong and Tic-Tac-Toe to shoote-em-up games. There's an entire city where you can either be a scientist or an undead based off the movie "I Am Legend" and you run around shooting each other. There's also groups that meet up like IRL. There are book clubs, fan clubs of various things, educational groups, etc. One of my favorite places is a movie theater where they play nonstop MST3K.

So what is Second Life? I see it as kind of a simplified look into the human psyche. And if by looking at it, we are looking at what sort of defines the human race in the sense of "this is what they do when its completely left up to them" I see that we can be amazingly creative, predictably susceptive to society's idea of "beauty," obnoxiously greedy, and sadly unsocial.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Reinventing Myself


I feel like the internet has given us this idea of perfection that's even more dangerous than that of models, actors, and musicians. First of all, the internet is this place where not just your local talent can show off their awesomeness, but anyone with computer access all over the world. This means that there is a LOT of REALLY GOOD talent out there from all over.

Second, the internet really offers the perfect place for one to reinvent themselves. You can make a name for yourself, do whatever you want, and if it doesn't work out like you thought, you can get rid of it, pretend it never existed, and show up somewhere else online where no one knows about your past failures. You're a fresh face, ready to take on the world. A new talent, just bursting with potential.

These two concepts have really messed with my head, I feel. First of all, whenever I see someone who does something outstanding, whatever it may be, I think, "I can do that!" And so I do, with gusto. I set up my internet presence, start telling everyone about what I'm doing and for a while I feel pretty great. But then I realize that what I'm doing is OMG no where NEAR as awesome as whatever I wanted to do in the first place. So I tear it all down and leave. I redesign websites, change projects, change devart accounts, youtube accounts, change my online nickname, buy entirely new websites, create secret identities, always looking for that strike of gold: that one time where it'll finally be right. People will look at it and be forced to go, "That's freaking AWESOME!"

And if people do praise me? It's not enough. I want hundreds. Thousands. Millions of people telling me how cool my stuff is. I want them to buy things from me, tell their friends, make my little comic or cartoon or whatever an internet phenomenon. I want to be the next Homestarrunner, Penny Arcade, or Bri-chan. And if I'm not? If things start looking a little not so perfect? If the old dog is looking a little under the weather? I shoot it and buy a new one.

This is a very sad thing to realize about myself. I've recently been wanting to start some things over. Create new accounts, buy another domain name, all for a fresh start. But I think it only makes my state of mind worse. I'm telling myself "you're not good enough, you need to be someone else." So, I'm going to try to keep trucking along with the same old same old, and if it doesn't work out, I have to accept it and simply be happy with what I've accomplished.

...easier said than done.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Goodbye Beaverton


This'll be my last post from Beaverton. Tomorrow, Brian's mom is coming to pick us and our computers up. We'll then stay in his parent's guestroom and search for jobs until we find one. Then it's apartment hunting time, and finally u-haul renting time. I'm not going to really miss Beaverton or Portland. Nothing really happened here. Neither of us ever got jobs or made any friends to leave behind. I just really really really hope I can find a job in Corvallis. I'm so incredibly tired of being a dirt poor, begging debtor. If I have a job, at least then I'll just be a dirt poor debtor only, and those are much more respectable.

Now it's time to take apart my computer and try and go to sleep. It won't be easy. I'm notoriously bad at sleeping before big events. Remember, I lost a job over it... -.-

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

What's wrong with us women folk?

Brian and I have just recently become enchanted with "The Venture Brothers." It's nice to find new shows that you totally fall in love with. But... it can also be a punch in the face. For instance, here's a list of the last few things I've gone mad for.

Venture Brothers
Dollhouse
Pushing Daisies
Lost
Invader Zim

Now. Here's a list of the creaters of said shows.

Jackson Publick
Joss Whedon
Bryan Fuller
Jeffrey Lieber, J.J. Abrams, Damon Lindelof
Jhonen Vasquez

Hm... what do these names all have in common? And this isn't just specific to TV series. Video games, movies, books, and even webcomics are pretty much entirely dominated by men (with the one obvious exception [yes, it's Harry Potter]).

It's intimidating. To say the least. I wonder if part of my reservations toward writing have come from this. Women tend to be WAY more successful in art, and I've found myself attempting to pursue goals in art, even though my talents in it have always played second fiddle to my writing...

Ironically, this picture has nothing to do with my post, even though it looks like some man is grabbing some poor woman, going, "Arg! I'm a man! I own her!" and she's like, "Oh, teehee, don't worry, everything's fine, I just fell down the stairs."